I’m at Jim’s with my kids, and three guys behind us are joyfully eating Philly Tacos. And I’m wondering, what over Philly-based food combos are there?

Is there a Kensington Kebab? A Rittenhouse Lollipop? A Northeast Bahn Mi?

I can’t get FiOS in my part of Philly, but I can get Verizon’s new audio program “Jackhammering Outside Your Window for 14 Hours” totally for free!!!

“I’m not a powdered sugar man. I’m a granulated man.”

“They should put that on your tombstone. Even better: on your urn.”

Unrelated to the signing of a new $330 million contract, the Phillies have agreed, in cooperation with the City of Philadelphia and the various Business Improvement Districts therein, to begin instituting, with immediate effect, a $20 “Crossing Broad Street” tax.

I am not necessarily saying that it is everyone's given right to eat at Sweetgreen, but I would like to see the trend of "cashless" stores stopped dead in its tracks:


Also, I would like to point out that the solution to this is simple: jump the counter, make a meal, eat it, and then offer to pay cash. Once you owe a debt, cash is always legal tender to resolve it.

Violence, Louis CK 

As hard as it is to believe that there’s anyone laughing at this man when he’s on stage, I find it much harder to believe that there’s no one setting him on fire. washingtonpost.com/arts-entert

People seem to say that cleaning their homes and buying groceries and working on their taxes is “adulting”, but I also think that eating chocolate chip cookies dipped in bourbon counts.

Tbh, as much as people refer to Frontier as “A greyhound bus, but in the sky,” I experience it more as “Eastern Airlines, circa 1986.”

It’s fine, and I flew round trip to Orlando for $48.

In the unlikely event of an emergency landing this tray table is optimally designed for jabbing into your liver.

Posit: a 2 1/2 hour flight from PHL to MCO can be filled entirely with original, remastered, and covered versions of Led Zepplin’s Immigrant Song.

Concept: Random Name Generator, but the first word is an 80’s band, and the second word is a Canadian food.

Tears for Poutine
Kaja Pemican
Depeche Back Bacon

Modest proposal: we drop the negative body image association with the word “fatberg”, and instead refer to this phenomenon as a “Trumpclot”


OH: “that opens up a whole door for using... mid evil lyrics...”

Of the three men featured here, all of whom were fixtures of my youth, George “The Animal” Steele lived the longest. To wit, I can draw two conclusions regarding the essential elements of hearty longevity:

1) Shoulder hair
2) A steady diet of turnbuckle-fillings


Ben boosted

My phone just tried to autocomplete a payment form with “Hahahahahaha” in the credit card number section.

This is lovely and amusing for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that it refers to the text as something which will be “expanded in a forthcoming series of articles in _Overtones_ in early 1998.”


My next door neighbor is practicing Head Over Heels and that song is now going to be in my head for weeks.

But still, they sound alright.

I’m imaging that they’re practicing for a NYE gig, and now I desperately want to know where.

Watching the kids play Zelda on the new Switch, which will be kept at my place for “safe keeping, and the sanity of everyone else who would need to listen to you two kids bicker over who’s turn it is.”

“For unto you this day is born in the City of Brotherly Love, a Flyer.”

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jawns.club 🐘

Welcome to the first mastodon based community for Philadelphians who ❤️Philadelphia! Think of this instance as a new neighborhood in Philly that anyone can be a part of, because it's online.