I. can't. throw. out. old. computers.

Send help.

I'm really not understanding what @Steak_umm is doing on the bird site. Brand as guru? Is this what's next?

That being said, I do enjoy their tweets despite myself... and despite everything I know about humans and technology.

Today I made up "Howly Wolfenoot" as a greeting for the holiday.

Don't know what is yet? Here you go: wolfenoot.com/

I'm feeling celebratory so I bought new pumps and a pair of boots online. Just wanted to tell somebody.

If you've ever wondered where JRR Tolkien got "Mordor"

[text of photo: Merriam Webster word of the day "mordant"
adjective | MOR-dunt
Definition
1 :biting and caustic in thought, manner, or style : incisive
2 :acting as a mordant (as in dyeing)
3 :burning, pungent]

I have obtained mini fart putties, mini emoji slinkies, emoji rubber bracelets and plastic spiders to hand out this Halloween. Also: some candy. Bring on dem little monsters!

Do other cities use "yo" as a legit greeting or is it just us? I lost my grip on reality a few years ago when someone told me "jawn" was just a philly thing, so yous need to tell me if, e.g., I god forbid am ever in Cleveland, I can or cannot say "yo" to the guy who is giving me my coffee.

Gritty Show more

Best word of the day, ever, even if it doesn't mean what you think it means.

I meant to post this yesterday:

IT'S DELAWARE AVE.

There's a rumor going around Haverford Township out here in Delco that Gritty will be at our parade today. Please advise.

@brianalmorgan I had to come on here to tell you that at 5:30 this morning I took out what I thought was a hard-boiled egg and smacked it hard against the sink. Egg. Everywhere.

(Pun time: My idea was good but my eggsecution was lacking.)

Ugh. I have to buy a new vacuum. This market is as shady as mattresses.

Any recommendations welcome. FYI: I have a double-coated lab/ germanshepherd/ bordercollie mix 80 pound dog. And wall-to-wall carpet as well as hardwood floors and area rugs. Thx.

repost from IG, SFW Show more

@PurpleCar
The Overdrive app is super easy to use to get books. Also, you don't even need to go to the library to get a card number and start getting books right away.

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jawns.club 🐘

Welcome to the first mastodon based community for Philadelphians who ❤️Philadelphia! Think of this instance as a new neighborhood in Philly that anyone can be a part of, because it's online.