My extended family: "What would you like for Christmas?"

Me: "Eh, nothing really, got too much stuff as it is."

Me: *sees one.bidpal.net/viva20/browse/a *

Me: "OKAY FAM I FOUND SOMETHING"

Not gonna lie, I have contemplated recreating it in Minecraft on Pickaxe.club.

spiders and bugs 

But sure, your jump-scare crickets are just as terrifying. πŸ™„

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spiders and bugs, body horror 

Seriously, a co-worker got bit when he reached into his (physical) inbox and for weeks every time he came into the office all the sales guys wanted to check the progress of the gross necrosis ulcer on his finger and tell him he should see a doctor.

The area around a bite becomes black and literally gangrenous. If somebody tells you they were once bitten by a recluse, ask them if they're sure. A real bitee's "Oh, I'm *sure*" comes from their SOUL.

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spiders and bugs 

I am boggled by people's reaction to camel crickets/spider crickets/sprickets around here. They freak out about them like Kansas people do about brown recluses.

Thing is, sprickets will jump when they're threatened. Sometimes they jump toward you.

When brown recluse spiders are threatened, they BITE YOU WITH NECROTIC VENOM.

It's not even close, people.

From birdsite (HRCzarPHL): "Philly: there have been several reported overdoses this week resulting from powder cocaine contaminated with fentanyl in the Philly restaurant industry. If you need naloxone/Narcan &/or fentanyl test strips or training for either, don’t hesitate to reach out. Keep each other safe"

This is the first and I hope only time I used "rudy giuliani" as a keyword on an Etsy listing. etsy.com/listing/904166419/fou

2020 weather 

We're up to Tropical Storm Iota? And it's expected to develop into a major hurricane? In mid-November? Cool cool cool.

(That's the 9th of 24 Greek letters, in case you are like me and have only a vague memory of what order that goes in. January resets the naming even though it's considered a continuation of the 2020 season, so we aren't gonna make it to Omega. Probably.)

coronavirus 

I'm sorry AAA but if your newsletter isn't just nonstop "STOP IT PEOPLE WE ARE IN UNCONTROLLED SPREAD NATIONWIDE YOU DO NOT NEED TO TRAVEL" then you're just helping kill people.

"Americans Planning Year-End Travel with Cautious Optimism

"According to a recent AAA Travel survey, American travelers are making vacation plans through the end of the year, but remain cautiously optimistic."

Both my grandparents on that side died before my parents met, so I never knew him. I thiiiink I remember that he lied about his age to get in, but I'd have to dig through all the to-be-digitized papers from Mom to be sure.

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I am not sure I'm on board with the placement of the privacy envelope on Gritty there. Are we wrong in calling that his belly button? 😬

cw: eye contact from a nearly-naked Borat. And possibly from naked Gritty although it's impossible to tell which direction he's actually looking so 🀷

Birdsite with the rare confluence of my old and new homes.

uspol, 🀣 

Okay I am not too impressed by partisan name-calling, *and* joking about things this serious feels like it risks trivializing them, but despite all that I cannot stop laughing at referring to the 🍊 family as the...

"Coup Klutz Clan."

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jawns.club 🐘

Welcome to the first mastodon based community for Philadelphians who ❀️Philadelphia! Think of this instance as a new neighborhood in Philly that anyone can be a part of, because it's online.